Why I’m Not a Christian–Part 2

So there’s this Supreme Creator of the Universe, not just this planet, the whole fricking Universe, and HE (I’ll get back to that) not only made this planet–a fourth rate dust mote on the edge of a trifling galaxy in the outer reaches of Nofuckingwhere–the center of not only his attention, but that previously mentioned ginormously-huge-beyond-all-comprehension Universe. AND he not only created all that fabulosity, but he’s got an ego problem and needs us mere tiny humans on this insignificant piece of Universal lint to worship and praise him or he will be displeased and might well smite us all.


While I do believe in Universal Intelligence, I don’t think it cares for each one of us personally. That would be like caring about each of the cells in your body personally. Oh, sure, you sorta kinda care about your spleen, but how many of you actually know where it is? And if you DO know where it is, can you name the parts of the spleen? The function of the spleen? How about the names of all the cells in the spleen?

I’m sure you see where I’m going with this……

The Universe may well have a Supreme Intellect, but that doesn’t mean that this supposed intellect needs us OR that we need it to survive. I don’t feel that the Universe is that involved on a day-to-day basis with each and every individual person. It’s simply not necessary.

Ritual worship is NOT to make the Universal Intellect happy. Nope. It’s to make the worshipper feel more in tune and connected with the Universe. The Universe doesn’t need your praise or worship. IF the Universal Intellect is paying attention at all, and I’m not saying it is or isn’t, I’m sure that it’s pleased that we notice it and thank it for being there, but hey, it was going to be there whether you thanked it or not. And so were you.

Ah….here’s the part that twists the panties of most theists.

We are not some purposefully created creatures. We are just the likely by-product of the Universe and pretty much what happens on rocks like the one we inhabit. Life isn’t planned so much as it just happens. Sure, it was supposed to happen, but our lives are no more important to the Universe than life anywhere else. Think about it…..do you hold your spleen in higher regard than your appendix? Do you even think about them? Just like organs generally show up in the same configuration in humans, life shows up on habitable planets. It’s just how the Universe does shit.

Now Christianity would have you believe that not only was this ginormously-huge-beyond-all-comprehension Universe created solely for the human life on this teeny weeny planet and that we are the CENTER of the attention of that Universe but that the Creator of that Universe is angry, spiteful, vengeful, petty, trite, small-minded, hateful, vicious, misogynistic and will do bad things to you if you don’t kiss his Supreme Ass on a daily, or at least weekly, basis. AND that this schizophrenic deity not only created us in his image, but made us ‘sinful’. And because we are sinful, we will all go to hell forever and ever and ever unless we accept his son, who is really him, as our ‘savior’ and then spend our lives emulating him and his infinite ‘greatness’.

Right.  And I’ve got horns on my ass that play “Moonlight Sonata” when I fart.

And this masculine creator business……really? IF you must anthropomorphize a deity who created the who ding-dang Universe, why not make it female? It  only makes sense since all the life on this planet is generally created by the females.  Hell, in some cases, there are no males of the species. Some females eat males. Some incorporate them into their bodies. Some males die after mating. Some males are the nesting material for the young. It’s seems pretty darn obvious when you take a close look at nature how the males of the species are generally considered not all that important. So why does a male creator make even the tiniest bit of sense?

It doesn’t.

Well, as a kid, I was spoon-fed the cutesy, lovable, darling aspects of the Christian God and Jesus. I loved the Bible stories, especially the ones with the cool ass pictures in my mom’s Bible. I was told that God loves me and watches out for me and has a home for me when I die.

Then I started using my “God-given” brain and it all fell apart like cardboard in a thunderstorm.

The more I learned about the world and science and astronomy, the more it clear it became that I was being lied to on a regular basis by those who loved me most. 

Oh, I tried…..I really tried to believe that God existed as they told me and that he cared for me and that he had a plan for me. But the older I got, the harder it was to pretend that any of this was reasonable, right and good. I wanted to belong and wanted to feel the “Holy Spirit” and wanted to feel close to God. It never happened. Not like they say it does anyway.

I did feel the presence of the Universal Intelligence FINALLY. Years after I left Christianity in disgust, I was still searching for a connection to the Divine, for lack of a better word. Then I got an ear infection. It was the worst ear infection in history. It was horrible. Several rounds of antibiotics had failed miserably leaving me with explosive diarrhea and a yeast infection that made me want to commit suicide. So I called around, found an herbalist and got her remedy. It worked in a mere days. Three days later, my ear was healing nicely, the diarrhea was gone and the yeastie boys had been sent packing. So I called to thank this wonderful person who had given me this remedy. She and I got to talking and the topic came around to religion……and I’m not sure how it happened, but I recall clearly the sentence that changed my life. She said, “Maybe you need to acknowledge what you are.” I said, “What is that?” She said, “You’re a witch.”

The next week, I attended my first circle and I’ve not looked back since.

That was about 15 years ago. Since then, my beliefs have morphed and changed as I learned more. I hope that continues as my life goes on. That is the beauty of Paganism. We don’t have a static way of being with the Universal Intellect. We can change it and adapt it to our personal lives and it will change and grow with us. We don’t have spiritual leaders or holy books. We have no hard and fast rules except one, “Do as you will and harm none.” 

There’s more to why I’m not a Christian, but that’s enough for today. I’ve rambled on enough and I’d like to go outside for a while and enjoy the wonders of the Universe…..or at least my little corner.


1 Response to “Why I’m Not a Christian–Part 2”

  1. 1 Alex
    October 14, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    ooh, now I have an idea why you are not a christian. “Universal Intelligence!”….this sounds interesting.

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