The Aliens (a song)

I’m tired of all this talk about the aliens and how people think they want to rule the Earth.
I believe the truth may be much simpler and just might be a thought to cause you mirth.
I don’t believe the aliens are as sinister and experts here often like to say.
The truth might really be they’re as dumb as you and me
And visitors are just guys who lost their way.

Crop circles might be only big graffiti from aliens who just stopped to sign their name.
Or maybe they just stopped to take a tinkle and chose to jerk our collective chain
Or maybe it’s two guys out on a bender–who says an alien doesn’t like his beer?
Perhaps they’re only playing and all they’re really saying
Is “We really like the chicks that you have here!”

And I believe there might be a connection between aliens and dryers that eat socks.
Perhaps they think the socks are quite delicious and don’t have as many calories as rocks.
They may be serving them as appetizers, a special treat at any alien bash.
Perhaps they like to eat things that taste like sweaty feet.
Just be happy that they didn’t take your stash!

Abductions are another cause of terror. A capture by an alien is our dread.
No one wants to feel an icy probe prodding in his belly or his head.
But try to think of aliens as friendly. It’s not their aim to try and make us cry.
The truth might only be that our blood and bile and pee
Are substances that get an alien high.

So now I have amused with this ditty about our little friends from outer space.
And if you ever have a chance to meet one, greet him with a smile upon your face.
Remember that out there in the Universe the aliens are our celestial friends.
They know who we are ’cause they’re watching form afar and might save our ass when our world finally ends!


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